Space Coast Area Go Association

So, last week I send out this really kewl email announcing the Orlando Go Tournament plus some other weird baloney that popped into my new replacement brain (the first one didn’t take) and I’m all excited about going to see what kind of response I’m gonna get and it’s mid-morning around ten-ish, I guess, and I’m alluvasudden tired so I figure I’ll just lay down and rest for a few minutes and the next thing I know it’s friggin’ FOUR O’CLOCK and I’ve slept through the whole damn Go game and most of the day and then I couldn’t get back into rhythm for like 3 days afterwards!

Getting old sucks.

But I’m ready now. I’ve stocked up on 5-hour energy drink, bought me an expresso maker, and have a six-pack of Red Bull chilling in the frig. When the game starts at 1:00 o’clock p.m. on Saturday at Books-A-Million, I’ll be there. Will you?

Hola, amigos y amigas!

Although details have not yet been finalized, the 2012 Orlando Go Tournament has been scheduled for Saturday, April 14 and Sunday, April 15 in the Harris Engineering Center (HEC) in room 101 at the University of Central Florida. Registration is available online at: http://www.tesseract.org/go-orlando/ogt2012-regform.html and it’s never too early (I registered). As information becomes available, it will be posted at: http://www.tesseract.org/go-orlando/?page_id=163.

For those of you who have never attended one of these, I strongly urge you to come. The tournaments are extremely well organized and just a heckuva lot of fun. Doesn’t matter if you suck at Go, there are players at all skill levels from beginner to upper level dan, and handicaps make everything fair. And this year, Larry the three-legged llama will be mascot for the SCAGA Cheerleaders!

In other news, the information you may have received regarding the return of the Messiah to Bithlo has been discovered to be a vicious hoax perpetrated by fanatic Turkmenistani beggar dwarves intent on destroying the playing of Go on their holy day, therefore there WILL be a game this Saturday, 14th January, at 1:00 pm in Books-A-Million in Viera.

One of the big changes arising from our move to B-A-M in Viera is that we are attracting considerably more interested onlookers than ever before. Don’t know if this is due to more traffic coming through the store than at the old B-A-M in Melbourne or if the clientele is just more Go-oriented. Irregardless, a tenny rate, nonetheless, however, the simple fact is that just about every week we have a bunch of folks popping the inevitable question: “What game is that you’re playing?” And, of course, in our never-ending desire to spread the Gospel of Go, we invariably go through the “Ancient 4,000 year old Chinese game” spiel and offer to teach them how to play if they have a spare 10 minutes, usually leaving them with a Way to Go booklet.

Having said that, if you’ll check the subject of this episode’s rant, you’ll see that I’m in the market for a Go teacher. This means YOU! Yes, I know you suck at the game, otherwise you’d be coming to the meetings which, in case you’ve been living in a cave, happen every freaking Saturday at 1:00 p.m., at the Books-A-Million in Viera. But that matters not! For if you’re reading this notification, that means you have at least shown up once and most probably received your very own copy of The Way to Go, thus qualifying you for the position of Go teacher. Y’see, I’m not looking for some 6 dan to help us “regulars” all become dan players; just someone who knows how to play the damn game who can explain it to some newbie who drops by asking “Whazzat?” That way, we don’t have to interrupt our game to explain our ancient passion to some gawker who probably will never be seen again (just like most of you on this distribution) and you’ll be both doing us a service and — who knows — maybe even rekindling your own passion for the game.

So don’t worry about your level of expertise. If you’re reading this, you’re qualified and should seriously consider filling this requirement for a much needed Go teacher. Apply in person at B-A-M this, or any other, Saturday. Actually, applications aren’t even necessary; just show up and the job is yours.

Tomorrow, Saturday, December 31st, 2011 is — of course — New Year’s Eve.

And what do we do on New Year’s Eve?

Why, we DRINK, of course!

And what does drinking do?

Everyone knows: It destroys brain cells.

So… in order to protect your valuable brain cells, you really ought to come to the game earlier and play as much Go as you can.

A recent study published in the Wauwatosa, Wisconsin Journal of Medicine for Lascivious Llamas stated unequivocally that playing Go so stimulates neurons, that subsequent imbibing of alcohol is virtually neutralized (as far as brain damage is concerned, that is; you’ll still get stinking drunk). So come and play and SAVE YOUR BRAIN! Then go out later and get smashed.

And all through the store
The Go Players were thinking
“What the hell is the score?
“Is my group going to die
“If I don’t play in there
“Or will they be okay
“While I increase my share?”
They were plotting and planning
Their opponent to best
While curious onlookers
Observed quietly lest
They disturb the combatants
Intense in their play
Completely indifferent
To the upcoming day
When everyone would be
At home waiting for
The time they could finally
See what’s in store
For them amongst the goodies
Waiting under the tree
Stocked there by elves
On a wild shopping spree.
Wearily after the games were all played
Home went the players
In their beds they all laid.
Only to wake up
The very next day
To find what Old Santa
Had brought in his sleigh.

Wishing everyone the Merriest of Christmases, Happiest of Hannukahs, and the very best for the New Year.

(Which doesn’t mean you’re excused from coming to Books-A-Million in Viera for the game Saturday at 1:00 pm.)

According to the Bahá’í calendar, the game on Saturday, Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:00 pm at Books-A-Million in Viera represents our 36⅝ anniversary! Hard to believe, but true. It was on this day in the month of Qawl that we first conceived of forming a Go club and a few short months afterward officially became the Space Coast Area Go Association. Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don’t it?

Ennywaze, to celebrate this momentous occasion, we are holding a special session in which, according to Bahá’í tradition, we will be using only white stones to represent purity, rebirth, and ultimate confusion.

You don’t want to miss this event…

Yah. Me too. Lethargic. Get up and go has got up and went.

Well, Bunky, you’re in luck! Just read in the latest issue of the American Medical Association Journal that they have found that the best way to dissipate the toxins accruing in your turkey laden body is by — wait for it — playing Go! Yes, boys and girls, our fave game is actually a cure for the after-Thanksgiving bloats.

And, as luck would have it, there’s a game scheduled for this very Saturday afternoon, Nowunder 26th, at 1:00 of the afternoons at the lurvely, large, spacious, and comfy Books-A-Million right here in Viera, Brevard, Florida, USA, Earth, Solar System, etc., etc., etc.

A couple-three weeks ago, I had a conflict with the new Saturday game and sent out an email telling all youse peoples I wouldn’t be able to make it. Welp, turned out I was able to re-schedule my other obligation and turned up at the game anywaze. There were 8 people there!

So, next, I forgot to send out the notice altogether (I’m still adjusting, too) and, lo to my great surprise, again EIGHT folks showed up to play! Wunnerful!

Then, they go and changed the time on me which threw me completely out of kilter and I once again forgot to send out a meeting notice (getting old sucks, folks), so I drag my weary butt to BAM in Viera expecting everyone else to be out of whack and not be there and what to my wondering eyes should appear but again 8 Go players along with me here!

So I’m starting to think maybe I should cut out this notification bit altogether on accounta more peeps seem to show up when I don’t tell (ask, beg?) them to than when I do.

Howsoever, having said that, note that SCAGA will be having its weekly Go club meeting at Books-A-Million in Viera at 1:00 pee em on Saturday, November 12 (and every Saturday after that also too, in fact) and now that I’ve told you officially, I fully expect probably no one will come and after all these years I will finally be stood up for the first time.

Will find out the results tomorrow, I guess…

Welp, I sent out a notice last week only to remember immeejetly thenceafter that I wouldn’t be able to attend on accounta I had some other thingie that I had to go to.

So I sent out a follow-up boo hoo email announcing my absence.

Turned out the other thingie got postponed (which I didn’t find out about until I went to it) and I was able to make it to last Saturday’s to-do after all.

After starting out Saturdays at BAM in Viera with 4 people, then the second week with only 3 people, I was leery of what I would find when I got there.

EIGHT OF US! Woo hoo! I’m almost positive it had to do with my announcing I wouldn’t be there. Hah! Maybe I’ll just make it a standing statement: Your fearless (and devilishly hansome) leader will not be at any meetings again. Ever. But then, I’ll trick everyone by showing up! Surely no one will figure out my deception. I’m far too clever. Reverse psychology or somesuch.

A tenny reight… must tell you that onlooker interest at the Viera BAM is multi-fold greater than at the old Melboring BAM. The new store has more customers and quite a few of them have been attracted to our strange game. Been handing out a lot of Way To Go booklets (which, now that I think upon it, need to have their inserts updated to reflect new day, place and contact information).

So, if you want to see fellow Go players and meet new Go onlookers, come to Books-A-Million, Viera, Saturday, 1:00 p.m. If you don’t, then don’t.

So… Books-A-Million in Melbourne closes down suddenly and we’re frantic to find a new home and are fortunate to locate the nice little ice cream place nearby and 5 people show up. But the nice little ice cream place is little and there’s discussion regarding moving elsewhere. Luckily, Dr. Bart is able to find us a new host in the Books-A-Million up in Viera and sets us up there and — oh, by the way — we switch to Saturday which is more convenient for many of our regulars, and 4 people show up, of which I am not one of which on accounta I am out of town on our inaugural new day/new place meeting. Which brings us to last Saturday, the 8th, and I am tooling around The Avenue in Viera trying to find Books-A-Million and I am tooling around and tooling around and not finding it until I tool around sufficiently to finally locate its somewhat hidden location (in the rain, of course), and THREE people show up! So I’m thinking all y’all are obviously confused and lost. Therefore:

SCAGA now meets on SATURDAY at 1:00 p.m. at the Books-A-Million in Viera, located at 2261 Town Center, Viera, FL 32940. It looks like this:

and you can get driving directions from Google Maps by clicking: http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&q=books+a+million+viera&fb=1&gl=us&hq=books+a+million+viera&cid=0,0,16791216996263833847&t=m&vpsrc=0&iwloc=A&ll=28.243896,-80.725735&spn=0.006295,0.006295&source=embed

(not sure if this link will work here, but maybe you can copy it and paste it into your browser.)

So then, folks, now you know when and you know where and you know how and I expect more of you to make an appearance on Saturday, 15 October.